I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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