he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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