i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize