its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
