he shaved USA in his pubs
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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