There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
