booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize