And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
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