This dress was meant to end up on your floor
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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