she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
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I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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