dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
