We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
