i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
