TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
