I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
