oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
