I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The uberlube is also flammable
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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