So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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