Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
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