How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
