It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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