We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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