He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
