ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
