I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
