Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
