I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
