Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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