i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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