I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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