I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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