he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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