he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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