How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
