Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
