I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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