So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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