Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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