i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She said her name was "party"
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
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The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
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Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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