I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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