if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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