I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
