Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
