So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
