Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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