Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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