I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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