Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
