I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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