i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
