Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
