that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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