Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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