Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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