I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
