YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
