I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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