we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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