I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
