I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
