i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
