i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
