i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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