oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
