She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
