actually, I'm a sock model
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
