What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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